


Random Fazbear Frights Stuff

by theguardian0fmagic



Series: [-Fazbear Frights-] [1]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: F/F, F/M, Five Nights At Freddy's: Fazbear Frights: 1:35AM, Five Nights At Freddy's: Fazbear Frights: Count The Ways, Five Nights At Freddy's: Fazbear Frights: Into The Pit, Five Nights At Freddy's: Fazbear Frights: Room For One More, Five Nights At Freddy's: Fazbear Frights: To Be Beautiful, Five Nights At Freddys: Fazbear Frights: Bunny Call, Five Nights At Freddys: Fazbear Frights: Lonely Freddy, Five Nights At Freddys: Fazbear Frights: Out of Stock, Five Nights at Freddy's: Fazbear Frights: Fetch, Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:29:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28811964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theguardian0fmagic/pseuds/theguardian0fmagic
Summary: I don't have a life and I love FazFrights so why the fuck notI ship so many things by the way- This is basically my AU so yeah-
Relationships: Matt (Five Nights at Freddy's: Fazbear Frights)/Springtrap (Five Nights at Freddy's), Millie/Sarah (Five Nights at Freddy's)
Series: [-Fazbear Frights-] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112336
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

ScrapTrap, with the most monotone voice to exsist: Hi welcome to Freddy Fazbears Pizza what would you like  
Matt: I want to fucking die  
ScrapTrap: *Sigh* Me too.. Me too  
-  
Matt: You play this harmonica, you get 1000,000,000 dollars. But 1000,000,000 people will die-  
SpringTrap: *Aggressively plays harmonica*  
Matt: SpringTrap no-  
-  
PitTrap: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.  
Ralpho: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10.   
PlushTrap: Run 3 miles instead of 2!  
Funtime Freddy: Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice.   
Eleanor: Burn your ex’s house down.   
Ella: You can do it! I believe in you!  
Oswald: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-  
-  
Hazel: *Gets a birthday party*  
Alec, for no fucking reason at all: you’re stupid, you bitch, you fucking cunt, go die alone no one loves you ı hate you everyone hates you you asshole  
Lonely Freddy: I’m about to end this man’s whole carieer  
-  
Spring Bonnie: *Kidnaps Oswald, drives him home, makes him dinner and possibly murders his parents*   
Everyone except the cat: This is normal  
-  
Oswald’d dad: *Leaves Oswald alone for 2 minutes*  
Spring Bonnie: MY SON NOW  
-  
Stanley: Are you getting enough sleep?  
Matt: Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes closed  
-  
SpringTrap: Favorite horror movie?  
Matt: It  
Greg: Saw  
Millie: Annabelle  
Delilah: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics  
-  
Millie: What're you two fighting about?  
SpringTrap: He keep using phrases wrong!  
Funtime Freddy: Oh cry me a table!  
-  
SpringTrap: I’m an idiot.  
Matt:  
Stanley:  
Delilah:  
Oscar:  
Alec:  
Greg:  
Millie:  
Eleanor:  
SpringTrap:  
Matt: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.  
-


	2. Chapter 2

Matt: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*  
SpringTrap: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents  
Matt: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you  
Greg: Actually I did the math, SpringTrap would have $225, not $0.15.  
SpringTrap: Fam I’m right here....  
Millie: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)  
Matt: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?  
Millie: Sorry I only have a dollar :(  
Matt: :(  
Greg: Hey I just realized my friend is right, SpringTrap would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent  
Millie: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice  
Greg: You can buy anything you want with $22,500  
Eleanor: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice  
Oswald: Apply juice to what  
Sarah: Directly to the forehead  
SpringTrap: Great chat everyone  
-  
Matt: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?  
SpringTrap: >:O language  
Greg: Yeah watch your fucking language  
Millie: OKAY WHO TAUGHT GREG THE FUCK WORD?  
Oswald: 'The fuck word' lmao   
Sarah: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time  
Greg: Oh my god she censored it  
Alec: Say fuck, Sarah  
Greg: Do it, Sarah. Say fuck  
-  
Matt: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.  
SpringTrap: What if it bites me and it dies!?  
Greg: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, SpringTrap, learn to listen.  
Millie: What if it bites itself and I die?  
Eleanor: That’s voodoo.  
Sarah: What if it bites me and someone else dies?  
SpringTrap: That’s correlation, not causation.  
Millie: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?  
PitTrap: That’s kinky.  
Oswald: Oh my God-  
-  
SpringTrap: Matt seriosly I just needed to escape, ı didn’t meant to impregnate you  
Millie: Excuse my you didn’t meant to what  
Matt: Ah yeah this is how we show our love to each other, by impregnateing each other  
Greg: I think ıt’s kinda how it works for adults  
Oswald: Isn’t this how it works for married adults   
Sarah: So do I get to plan the wedding if you guys haven’t already done that  
Eleanor: Guys it’s 3 am  
-  
Matt: I should have left you in the game files where I found you  
Springtrap: *lying on Matt's bed with a rose between his teeth* But ya didn't  
-  
Matt: Is stabbing someone immoral?  
Springtrap: Not if they consent to it.  
Funtime Freddy: Depends who you’re stabbing.  
Stanley: YES?!?  
-  
Springtrap: Here's some advice  
Matt: I didn't ask for any  
Springtrap: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one I like talking to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vines becouse yes

PitTrap: Hey, I have some news....  
Delilah: Oh god what are they-  
PitTrap: No, no, nothing bad, ı just stubbed my toe.  
Delilah: Oh thank god-  
PitTrap: -On Oswald's dead mom and dad-  
-  
Sarah: If there are any spirits here tonight, tell me;  
Sarah: Does this sounds like Shakira? *Doing a impression of Shakira* Le lo lo le lo le-  
-  
*Everyone's around Funtime Freddy's dead body*  
Stanley: Alright, who YOU think did it, then?  
SpringTrap: FUNTİME FREDDY-  
Stanley: FUNTİME FREDDY'S DEAD.  
SpringTrap: Uuuh- FUNTİME FREDDY-  
Stanley: Funtime Freddy's still dead.  
SpringTrap: Oh this is really hard-  
-  
Stanley: Detective, this is a crime scene!  
Matt, carrying 25 bottles of Energy Drinks: What, is this the murder weapon? Get off my dick!  
-  
SpringTrap: Look at the buns on that guy!  
Millie at the door, holding a toy gun: This is the comedy police, the joke's too funny-  
SpringTrap, holding a real gun: I'M NOT GOİNG BACK TO JAİL-  
-  
Stanley: Matt! İs that a weed?  
Matt: No, that's a crayon-  
Stanley: I'm calling the police!  
The theme from "The X-Files" plays: 911, what's your emergency-  
-  
Greg's uncle: Alright Greg, ıt's time for bed-  
Greg: Fetch said ı can stay up all night, and you need to die!  
Greg's uncle:  
Greg's uncle: What the heck Fetch-  
-  
Jason: You're gonna either have to choose me or your obsession with pointing out doors to people-  
Matt, pointing at the door: Well... there's the door-  
-  
SpringTrap, about to kill Stanley: Do you have any last words?  
Stanley: No..Oh shit that was my last word- Oh now these are all my last words- fuck-  
-  
*Everyone screaming in the background*  
Oswald: Welcome to Bible study, we're all children of Jesus  
Matt: *Smoking*  
Oswald: Kumbayaaa mi lord-  
-  
SpringTrap: mATT İ'VE JUST DİCOVERED THİS AMAZİNG THİNG İT'S CALLED PLANKİNG-  
Matt: Where have you been??  
SpringTrap: CHECK İT OUT  
SpringTrap: *Planking in the street*  
SpringTrap: *Planking in the park*  
SpringTrap: *Planking at the Cinema*  
SpringTrap: *Planking at the museum*  
SpringTrap: *Planking, but underwater*  
Matt: Well, he's dead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out Of Stock is cool

PlushTrap chaser: *Has human eye and teeth, can speak, only moves in the dark so there’s %99 chance it moves around when you’re asleep*  
Oscar: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY  
-  
Plushtrap: *Bites and breaks a fucking knife*  
Oscar: Damn my new toy is cool  
-  
"I'm sorry, but there just isn't enough room in this car for both of us!"  
-Funtime Foxy, Room For One More  
-  
Oscar: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.  
Plushtrap, drinking plastic: Why do you say that?  
-  
Fetch during the day: Hi Greg do you need my help? Maybe with homework?  
Fetch at 3 am: WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THİNK YOU'RE GOİNG MY MASTER WANTS TO SEE YOU AND YOU'RE GONNA COME SEE HİM WHATEVER İF YOU'RE BREATHİNG OR NOT  
-  
Funtime Foxy: I'M İN FREDDY'S CAR. BROOM BROOM.  
Stanley: L- let me go-  
Funtime Foxy: NO  
-  
Greg: I'm having a problem with this person  
Fetch: Kill him  
Greg: No-  
Fetch: I'LL KİLL HİM FOR YOU  
Greg: NO  
-  
Springtrap: You hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness...  
Matt: That's people screaming-  
Springtrap: Yes, this is what forgiveness sounds like... Screaming, then silence...  
-  
FleshTrap (Baby Springy): Daddy; what's that white stuff?  
SpringTrap: Oh that's bone juice, it makes your bones strong.  
FleshTrap: Daddy; I want some bone juice!  
Matt: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD- CALL İT MİLK-  
-  
Sarah: Hey, I wasn't that drunk last night!  
Millie: Sarah, you tried to draw on my face with a hightlighter becouse you said ı was importmant  
Sarah, crying: BUT YOU ARE  
-  
Oswald: You're not really a morning person, aren't you?  
Greg, brushing his teeth with ketchup: What? I'm completely awake.  
-  
Matt: I'm really into dark humor  
Oscar, turning off the lights: Wanna hear a joke?  
-  
Teacher: Who's in charge in your house?  
Millie: Usually whoever survives at night

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was something.


End file.
